One of my biggest weaknesses is being overly sensitive. If things don’t go the way I planned for it to go or if life gets too difficult for me to handle I cry. And when the tears start rolling down my face there is no way for me to control them at all. It’s like I’m a little punk being bullied by life. I’ve always been like this, ever since I could remember. But you know what, I’m realizing that life can actually knock you down, you may not be able to get back up but you can control your emotions. If there is anything that you can control in your life it would be your reactions and your emotions. Ultimately God has command over the paths you take in life because at the end of the day He will direct you to your destiny, no matter what decisions you make. He sends you storms for a reason but you have a final say so of what you do with those storms emotionally. Are you going to let it consume you negatively or are you going to remain joyful, unbothered and trusting God? This is what I asked myself when I realized the feeling that was beginning to take over me after receiving some not so good news.
For the past week I’ve been waiting for my job to give me my check. I deleted my direct account link a week prior to payday because I closed out that account so on payday I was expecting a check. Friday I didn’t get it and spoke to the Human Resource Manager about what happened to it. Apparently the company did a direct deposit anyways to my closed account and the Manager expected it to bounce back. It didn’t so I called the bank and they didn’t even receive it. Moving forward to the following week, the company said it would take 3-4 business days before I could receive the check due to it already “depositing” in the account. So I made prior arrangements with my landlord to hold my rent check until after the 1st since that is when my Human Resource Manager and I expected the check. Long story short the check still didn’t arrive, my landlord did not hold it until I gave her the okay and sent it off to the bank on the 2nd. When I informed her that I was still waiting on the check she basically said if it bounces back I would have to pay the late fee (must I mention that I’m not the type of person to submit anything late dealing with bills). So I made it my business to go to the job myself and wait for them to cut the check and have the Manager let Corporate know that I have to pay my rent. Further into being there for 2 hours corporate didn’t email her back. I felt the emotions overwhelming me. It was like I couldn’t breathe (yeah I’m that sensitive.) All I could think about were the bills ahead and calling corporate and letting them know they need to add some money on my check for the trouble. When I got in the car I was reminded that sometimes life WILL knock you down but you defeat it by taking control of it emotionally.
This may be a situation so small compared to others but it’s still just as important and could lead to events that causes others to fall into depression. Some things in life we just can’t control and it’s okay. These things or so temporary but you can make it permanent if you don’t continue to smile and be happy. When something like this comes across your path try to do something you enjoy doing. For me it would be taking a run, listening to some neo-Soul, talking to God, or going for ice cream lol. But you can’t dwell on the bad…make them good.